Randumb Thoughts

The Boobie 2 Belly Ratio
Ladies, what is your ideal body weight? Chances are if you look it up on 5 different websites, you will get 5 different answers. And even if you did weigh what you are “supposed to”, would you be happy with your body? Probably not. We (guys included) are all our own harshest critic, picking ourselves apart and wanting that perfectly photo-shopped body that can hardly ever be achieved. Well I’m here to tell you forget it! It’s way simpler than that…. It’s all about the boobie to belly ratio. Here’s the deal: Go to the mirror. Turn sideways. Do your breasts stick out more than your belly? If so, you’re good. If they are the same, you’re ok (you can always fake a little extra with the right bra). However, if it’s the opposite and your breasts are sitting on a shelf called your belly, you should probably hit the gym for a while. It’s as simple as that. There’s no magic weight or dress size to achieve.

Listen, just because you have a gut doesn’t mean you’re unattractive. Most guys like curves! And 6 pack abs are hard to get for anyone! (Seriously, you must have less than 7% body fat to see those suckers!) The woman spending all hours at the gym “perfecting” her body is not a woman who any guy wants. This chick is so overly concerned with her looks and her image that she’s probably bat shit crazy. She may never be happy with herself… Next comes the face lift, lip injections, and anything else to get a guy who will have no respect for her anyway. Believe me, a little “extra” never hurt anyone. Normal is sexy, and normal has a better personality.

Now of course there are limits… And you know what they are. If you feel like you’re wearing an inner tube before you get in the pool, it doesn’t matter how big your chest is. If your idea of cardio is going from the couch to the refrigerator for a snack, you may want to look into upping your routine. If your boyfriend always falls to your side of the bed because it slopes that way….. well you get the point. But those are extreme cases. For the most part the boobie to belly ratio holds true.

Now guys, what do we do about the boobie to belly ratio? Dude, if you’re a guy and you got boobs… C’mon man. Put on your “manssiere”, “bro” or whatever you need to keep those things from flapping around and start running till they go away! Nothing really more to say about that.

Other Stuff
– “Luck is the residue of skill” (This is an awesome quote by my friend’s grandpa.)
– “Find a penny pick it up, all that day you’ll have good luck.” (What a bunch of bullshit that rhyme is. Never has my day been lucky when I picked up a penny.)
– When “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” and challenged Johnny at fiddle playing, he totally kicked Johnny’s ass in my opinion. Johnny owes the Devil his soul. Time to pay the piper bud.
– You know I recently heard the saying that “Good things come to those who wait.” Obviously this is not the first time I’ve heard this saying, and I can see some cases where this is true, but for the most part I totally disagree with this statement. I believe that good things come to those who work for them. The people who work harder, work longer, and are willing to push themselves further than they have before are the ones who get the “good things.” If you put in the same effort over and over again, you’re going to get the same results. As I’ve said many times before: Nothing worth having in this life comes easy. You have to go out and earn it. If you’re waiting for something good to come to you, you’re going to be waiting a long time.

Instead why don’t you go get it? Create new possibilities for yourself! Take chances!

And that’s what I’m talkin aBOOT!

W I D E Stance
Guys, have you ever went to the bathroom and stood next to the “wide stance” guy? This is the guy who is practically standing in your urinal while he is peeing in his own. The wide stance is typical of the guy who has had too much to drink. The wider the stance gets, the more drunk he is. This helps him keep his balance. This guy also spits like five times while he’s doing his business. He may also have a beer with him in the bathroom. He tries talking to you while you’re next to him peeing. Dude, if I don’t know you outside of the bathroom, do not talk to me while our junk is out. If you want to say something to me about the game or how lame this place is while washing our hands, fine. Other than that though, take your drunken, wide stance self and get to steppin’.
Significance>Success
When one measures their worth in this world they must remember that when they leave it, they take with them nothing. No money, no houses, no cars, and no possessions. Many people work very hard to achieve these “prizes” in life, and rightfully so. It’s a sign of hard work, and one feels very accomplished by surrounding themselves with nice things. However, bigger accomplishments can be made when you contribute and make an impact on someone else’s life rather than your own. See, when you touch someone’s life or differ it in a positive way, you “live on” in their lives after your own death. That’s the type of wealth that is infinite, and that’s what we all should try to achieve for each other.
Sing Sing Sing
Do you ever notice that hearing a song at a particular time in your life changes it’s meaning? We all have a tendency to put meaning behind things, and that meaning can change by what we are going through or who we are surrounded by when we hear a song, see a movie, hear a sermon at church, etc. It’s funny how the mind works and can be our friend and so positive in one minute, and totally bombard us with negative thoughts like an enemy would in the next. Furthermore, even when we sing a song at various points in our life it can be taken differently. For example, when I used to sing my ABCs as a 1-4 year old, I would hear claps and “good job” talk from those I was surrounded by. NOW when I sing my ABCs, people just look at me like I’ve lost my mind. What happened to the claps? LOL
A Randumb Thought by Mom
“There is a skinny girl inside of me trying to get out, but if I eat enough chocolate she usually stays put.”
Perspective… Get it
Listen, I’m a dork. I’m not in dork denial or anything. I can admit that I’m a dork and I actually enjoy who I am and how it makes me unique. But it does not define me. I am constantly growing and changing. When I meet new people and add their perspectives of life to my own, I grow as an individual. Everybody is different (different strokes for different folks), and nobody thinks, feels, and does things exactly the same as everyone else. To have successful relationships and a meaningful life, there must be this growth and compromise in our personalities. People who are full of themselves end up by themselves, believe that. Happy are those who can ride the waves, roll with the punches, and adapt with the people they care about.
HopeFULL Romantic
I’ve often been called a hopeless romantic and I can see why. I fall fast, I write poems, I genuinely care about people, and I look to keep my significant other smiling at all times. Though I understand why I’m called a hopeless romantic, I don’t like it. It makes it seem like I have “less” or no hope in the romantic department. I think the same people who use the term hopeless romantic also say that “nice guys finish last.” It’s hard to deny that both of these seem to be true at times. Often “assholes” or people that don’t care, are the ones that other people are drawn to be nice to. Like somehow your niceness will rub off on this asshole or something. C’mon man. Doesn’t everybody want the type of family, friendships, and relationships where both parties are nice to each other? Look around though… That’s not usually the case. But I personally, will NOT lose hope. I am a hopeFULL romantic, and my poem “I Believe” explains why. My faith in God and belief that the Holy Spirit is in each one of us keeps me ME. I really do believe that God has a plan for each of us. We are right where we need to be at all times. And when things don’t work out the way we think they should, it is because he is trying to teach us a lesson and lead us (our thoughts and actions) in a new direction. His path is found in your heart, so don’t let your mind get in the way of that.
– That’s what I’m talkin aBOOT!

– Memorial Day is the gift that keeps giving: First comes that Friday before Memorial Day when you really look forward to the three day weekend. Then comes that Sunday night when you remember you don’t have to work the next day, so you have some extra drinks and extra fun. Then there’s the actual day, Monday, where you get to be lazy and enjoy yourself. And lastly, there’s the Wednesday/Thursday of the next week when you realize it’s almost Friday again. Cheers to you Memorial Day!

– I’ve never understood the expression “Head over Heels” when talking about someone who’s in love. I mean, isn’t your head ALWAYS over your heels? If it isn’t, I suggest you get that checked out. I guess that “Head over Heels” has no WOW factor for me. It’s like, “Yeah, you’re in love, big deal.” Heels over Head would be the better choice. When you’re doing flips over some chick or dude, then THAT’S a big deal!

– I believe that you can do anything in this world if you set your mind to it, but I don’t think many other people do. These are the people who don’t want to put in the work to achieve their goal. Listen, nothing in this world worth having comes easy. Think about your greatest accomplishments, your best relationships, or your most expensive possessions. All of these things took, and in some cases continue to take, great sacrifices on your part. If you STILL don’t believe you can do anything, let me ask you this: Could Jesus do anything? Is Jesus in you? Well there you go.

– You know you’re in big trouble when someone calls you by all three names: first, middle, and last. I remember many of my family members and friends getting yelled at in this way. If someone takes the time to say all three, you better flee! But how is a guy like myself, with no middle name, supposed to know when he’s in trouble? The answer is easy. I never got in trouble ;^) So, if you want good kids, don’t give them middle names. LOL

– I called out sick for the first time since I moved to Arizona (4 years ago) last week. I was pretty disappointed as I pride myself on being dependable and not letting anyone, especially my co-workers, down. The day I was gone was the day that our “group” was to go to lunch. To my surprise, they did not go to lunch and chose to wait for me to get better. I was told that it wouldn’t be the same, and that we were a “team.” Let me tell you that this sort of thinking is definitely not the protocol here, or even in life in general. I am happy to be surrounded by people like this though. Surround yourself with good people, and good things happen.

– 50/50 is a good mark to shoot for in a relationship. It sure beats 75/25, or 90/10! However, even a 50/50 relationship probably won’t work out in the long run. Think about it, if you’re only giving a certain percentage of yourself to another, you are putting restrictions on your actions, and only doing things IF they are doing something first, or in return. But this is not the way God taught us to love. He loved us UNCONDITIONALLLY! He died for us knowing we were sinners, and knowing that we would continue to sin. If a relationship is truly going to work, it’s got to be 100/100. Give without expectation, do without hesitation, and love someone with ALL of You. Right John Legend? Let’s face it, you don’t want a potentially awesome relationship to end knowing you could’ve done something more or different right? No regrets.

– If you ARE having relationship problems, I’d like you to try something: Try picking out one thing about your partner that you love. Focus on that one thing all day. Let your words and actions flow from the love of that one thing. Tomorrow add another thing, the next day add another, and so on and so forth. Love is a powerful thing if you let it consume you and work through you.

– Saying harsh and spiteful words is a lot like squeezing toothpaste from the tube. It’s hard to put/take them back. Be careful what you say.

– Not tonight babe. #saidnoguyever
Moving’s the best! #saidnooneever
No candy/flowers for me thanks. #saidnogirlever
My vacation was too long. #saidnooneever