Today marks another day. A day which I have survived yesterday. Living this
life, feeling this way, each day as a success is often overlooked. Even waking
up happy is not a feat I can achieve each day. Knowing I have more than enough
to be happy for. This disease makes hope the only thing I can wish for. I have
bi-polar disorder. I can be up one minute, down the next, and even both at the
same time. Out of a week I’m lucky to feel “normal” a day. It’s not something
that’s curable. I’ll have this forever. My struggles and successes have all come
at a price. Whether financially or mentally. Being depressed is no joke. I’ve
isolated and retreated. Nearly lost everything from family and dogs, to friends
and foes. I could be the life of the party and the tragedy of the century all in
the same day. Surviving is given me hope. Which I have permanently with me every
day. Tattooed since I was 18. I believe it’s what keeps my head up through the
hardest times. Just knowing through sweat, blood, and tears I will always have
hope on my side. Having 3 kids, a house, 2 cars, 2 dogs, 4 cats, a full-time job, and
my loving wife of nearly 6 years. I have not a laid back life. Family is my
life. My daughter having getting diagnosed with leukemia last year and her fight
through treatment was rough, but hope was my way. Always hoping and praying.
Knowing it could always be worse.
Seeking help is a costly path, but one which I must attempt. For my well-being
and the sake of my family. Living with a bipolar person must mean there’s a
heaven, cause at times its hell here on earth. I can feel like the root of all
evil and be the wisest person. I’m take my steps furthering my knowledge of this
disease. Trying to focus and scope out my future. And can urge you to understand
there are more undiagnosed mental diseases then there are diagnosed ones. So
this means if you or a friend or family member are having odd issues or
problems, talk with them. It can literally save a life. People can sink into a
hole very quickly when an illness gets so bad. I know first hand. Not something
I prefer to talk about, as I feel it’s in my past. Hope you all enjoyed this
short writing. I’m sure I’ll have more writings, thoughts, and poems. Hope you
have a good day.